No Regrets
by Electric Sparkle
Summary: AU. Its hard to be in love with your best friend. Especially when he's in love with your worst enemy. Jassie.
1. Thinking Back

It was too cold out for shorts. I wore them anyways; the goose bumps on my pale legs were like medals, proving I could stand the wind. The last time I wore these shorts was in the summer. I was barefoot, like I was back then. I guess I still wish it were then. I sat perfectly still. I was sitting on the bench. Our bench. It hasn't been that long since we came here. School started yesterday, and it's already cooled down. We used to come here almost every week. We could sit here talking, or not talking, for hours. Now I come here alone.

I had been sitting there thinking for about a half hour before I realized my feet were turning purple. I shook them to invite circulation. No such luck. I stood and walked around for a minute. I sat back down. My attention was drawn to the carving on the left hand side of the bench. It says, "NO REGRETS. JUST MEMORIES." I remember him pulling out his little pocketknife with the mottled coloring from when it fell in the fire, and carving those words. He told me those were the words he lived by.

I shook my head. It wasn't good to dwell on the past. Two more years and I would (hopefully) be at Stanford. The sky started to lightly drizzle on my head. I froze, and watched as the bench turned from a light brown to a dark, soaked brown. I reached into my now damp messenger bag and grabbed my car keys. I hopped into my car and started the ignition. It was a good ten minute drive back to my house and I would have to leave now if I wanted to get back before dark. The rain started coming down harder. I could almost make out the top of my house in the distance. I accelerated, and sped along my mile long drive way.

Once safely in my room, I brought out my old yearbook. I hadn't looked at it since the last day of school last year. I flipped open to the page that read "Sophomores" at the top in bright red. I found his picture. Josh Hotz. Of course he looked perfect. He always does. Even when we went on that class trip to D.C. and everyone got food poisoning. He is the only person I know who can look cute while throwing up.

Directly above him is Claire Harrington. The evilest girl I know and unfortunately the girl that everyone loves. Claire's on top of Josh. How cute. That made me want to gag. Her twin, Derrick is next to her in the lineup. He is surprisingly normal for being related to her. He's always been nice to me. I don't know how he can be related to that supreme bitch, but she fools everyone else. Josh included.

I continued scanning the yearbook. A little ways up is Claire's on again, off again boyfriend Cam Fisher. But then again, she has gone out with almost every guy in school this year. But Cam is the one that mattered the most. They broke up for real in April, but I guess I still see them together. Not that they were good together. The whole time they were going out, she and Josh liked each other. I hate her. I really do. And Josh loves her. How screwed up is my life?

I realize I sound crazy, but Claire is pure evil. She takes you in with her little blue eyes, and then you are a goner. She was emotionally cheating on Cam for their entire relationship with his best friend. I'm still really surprised at Josh. Its not like he made a move on Claire or anything, but Cam is his best guy friend. He could have made it a little less obvious.

Josh says he's totally over her, but I don't completely believe him. Before school got out, she was going out with Kemp Hurley. Whenever Josh, Cam and I were hanging out at lunch period they would both just stare at her flirting with Kemp. I was like "Hello??"

That was a while ago. Things have happened. The summer was great. Well, most of it. We hung out all of June and July, but I was in Italy for the entire month of August. I called him as soon as I got home, but his mom said he was out. I tried again a few days later, but she said the same thing. Then I realized that something had changed. While I was away in Italy, something major had happened. I have no idea what, but I bet it has to do with that female dog Claire.

I flipped to the end of my yearbook where all of the signatures are. Josh wrote a page in his tiny, cramped writing.

"Dear Mass (M-Skillet),

You are such an amazing person. I love being around you and hearing your funny, no HILARIOUS jokes! Haha. You are my best friend and you give the greatest advice and not to be all "classic yearbook," but we are gonna be seeing a lot of each other this summer! It is gonna be the best summer yet! Thanks for always helping me with all the stuff that went down this year, and always being there for me…"

I slammed my yearbook shut and shoved it under my bed, knowing Inez would put it away later. I wasn't in the mood to read anymore of what Josh wrote. I grabbed my iPod and turned it on shuffle. An upbeat Vampire Weekend song came on. I clicked the next button. "The Ice is Getting Thinner," by Death Cab for Cutie came on. I lay back on my bed and started listening to the spine chilling guitar intro.

_We're not the same, dear, as we used to be. _

_The seasons have changed and so have we. _

_There was little we could say, and even less that we could do _

_To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you. _

_We bury our love in the wintery grave _

_A lump in the snow, was all that remained. _

_But we stayed by its side, as the days turned to weeks _

_And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak. _

_And when spring arrived _

_We were taken by surprise when the flows under our feet _

_Led into the sea _

_Nothing was left for you and me. _

_We're not the same, dear, _

_And it seems to me _

_There's nowhere we can go _

_With nothing underneath. _

_That it saddens me to say _

_What we both knew was true _

_That the ice was getting thinner _

_Under me and you. _

_The ice was getting thinner _

_Under me and you._

**Author's Note: Just so everyone is clear, this is Massie having a reflection the day that school starts Junior year. She's talking about them being sophomores because they were sophomores last year. **


	2. You Can't Relive the Past

Today is going to be different. It is going to be "the first day of the rest of my life." I've seen that on inspirational posters in classrooms my whole life, and maybe today is the day to take it to heart. I'm not going to look at Josh, talk to Josh, or even think about Josh! I won't even say his name. My clock read 6:40 a.m., which left an hour and ten minutes for me to get my hair into my signature waves, put on my makeup, get dressed, and eat breakfast.

As soon as I was done with my morning routine, I tossed my books and messenger bag into the backseat of my Porsche Cayenne. I drove over to Kristen's house and waited for her to come outside. She lived in one of the biggest houses around, and in Westchester, that was saying a lot. The Gregory's Cape Cod style mansion was the envy of many moms in our neighborhood. Even though Kristen was totally loaded, she had a late birthday, which meant I drove her to school until she got her license.

"Have you guys talked about it yet?" Kristen slammed the car door and turned to me expectantly, blonde hair swinging.

"No. I didn't even see him yesterday. And he made no effort to communicate." I pursed my lips and focused on the road ahead that was congested with Mercedes, Porsches, Range Rovers and other luxury cars.

"I'm so confused. Why don't you just call him?" Kristen queried. She smiled at me. "He's probably waiting for you to call!"

"I'm just kind of disappointed in him I guess. He hasn't called me since I've gotten back from Italy, and he hasn't told me about what happened!" I huffed.

"Boys can really suck sometimes." Kristen decided. I agreed with her.

I smoothly pulled into a junior parking space. I was still fuming just thinking about it. The day I got back from Italy, I when I turned on my computer I had one new email. It was from a random email address I didn't know. After puzzling over the email address for a minute, I opened the attachment. Seeing the picture of Josh and Claire kissing was like a punch in the stomach. I suddenly couldn't breathe or think. How could he do this to me?

Josh has been in love with Claire since freshman year, and she has always led him on. They almost went out a couple times, but nothing ever really happened between them, and Josh promised me he would tell me if anything ever did. Claire went out with Cam Fisher for a really long time, then she went out with a few other guys. Over the summer though, she went out with Kemp Hurley, and she was still going out with him when she kissed Josh.

The worst part was I had to find out from some creepy internet stalker, not from Josh. He hadn't even bothered to call me and check in, let alone tell me he had finally made out with the girl of his dreams/my worst enemy! I was really surprised he did that to Kemp because they are pretty close, and they're on the soccer team together.

"Guys! Hey" Dylan Marvil motioned us over to her fire red convertible. It conveniently matched her hair. "Omigosh! How were your summers?"

"Good." Kristen grunted. Kristen and I had an ongoing joke that we would say as little as possible to the Blockhead Bunch. The three of them, Dylan, Alicia, and Olivia, were good for gossip and the occasional party but nothing else. They could talk at a mile a minute and it could get annoying to anyone with a brain bigger than a pea.

"How great! I had the most ahmazing summer ever! Did you hear?  
Dylan exclaimed.

"Hear what?" I asked monotonously.

"So you know Claire's little group of friends right? Its Carrie, Livvi, Alexandra and Claire. Duh. So Alexandra summers in Nantucket, and so does Cam Fisher! Lexi ends up hooking up with Cam and Claire totally blows a fuse. She says it's against 'Girl Code' to date your friend's exes. And then Lexi told her they weren't dating they were just hooking up and also that Carrie was going out with Kemp Hurley before Claire was and Claire hadn't cared then! That shut her up." Dylan resurfaced for air with a grin at the end of her monologue.

"Whoa, Dylan. You are well informed. Thanks for the dish! Gotta run." Kristen grabbed my arm and we raced to the doors of the main building.

Once Kristen and I were safely inside the main building in our secret alcove on the second floor where we had our gossip sessions, we reviewed the information.

"Since when has Alexandra been Lexi? Do you see the correlation between Livvi, Lexi and Carrie? Scary…" I smiled.

"Ok Mass, don't go getting all Twilight Zone on me. Although I think there might be a conspiracy." Kristen giggled. "Anyways, that's weird that Cam would hook up with 'Lexi'. I thought he had better taste than her."

"I have a theory that all of the guys in our school are crazy. Why else would any of them like Claire? Or her friends? . They go out with like all the boys in the school and then just cause drama." I ranted. I was so sick of everyone liking them. The only people who didn't were the nerds and Dylan Marvil.

The bell rang. Kristen gave me an apologetic look that said, "We'll continue smack talking that hussy, Claire, at lunch break but right now we have to go to first period." I nodded my head and went off in the direction of my locker.

OCDHS has this weird policy that kids can't go to their cars between classes, even though we're allowed to leave at lunch. So all of the Juniors and Seniors have to have lockers to keep their books in.

I reached my unfortunately located locker, and started trying to open it. It was stuck. 12-30-20. I twisted it again. No such luck. I realized that the girl next to me was starting to snicker. What kind of twisted person laughs when someone can't open their locker? Your supposed to help them, not be a rude bitch. I contemplated this while I struggled with the combination.

"Need help?" A voice from behind made me jump. It was Chris Plovert. "You look like you need some."

"Do I?" I joked as I stepped aside. "The combo is 12-30-20."

Click. The lock sprang apart, and Chris smoothly opened my locker for me.

"You must have been turning it the wrong way. Happens to me all the time." Chris grinned.

"I bet that was it. Thanks for your help. I'm sorry if I make you late for first." I apologized.

"No problem. We've still got a few minutes." Chris trailed off. We said goodbye and he headed off in the direction of his classroom.

My first period was AP English, Room 212. Most of the kids in my class were nerds, but I knew Derrick Harrington, Jennifer McDougall, Allie-Rose Singer and Jake Samuels. I was good friends with Allie and Derrick, and Jake and Jennifer were more of the homework helper variety.

As Ms. Mitchell droned on about the exciting literature we would be reading, I pulled a piece of paper out of my binder and began to doodle. Ms. Mitchell started talking about "Catcher in the Rye" and Holden Coulfield's journey in New York City. Thinking about New York City made me think about our weekend trip to New York last year.

Flashback

_It was the weekend of Josh's sixteenth birthday. Josh, Kristen, Derrick, Cam, Claire, Chris, Dylan and I went to the city to celebrate. Our parents agreed to let us go because Josh, Kristen, Chris and I were staying at Josh's penthouse in the city with his older sister, and Derrick, Cam, Dylan, and Claire were staying at the Harrington's penthouse with the Harringtons._

_The cold September wind blew around us as we left the restaurant we just ate at and headed towards our next destination. The clamor and noise surrounding Madison Square Gardens gave me a rush._

_"Everyone have their tickets?" Josh was always planning everything. He had a checklist of things in his mind all the time._

_I looked down at my ticket. Coldplay, September 29th, 7:00 p.m. Chris Plovert's dad got us all great backstage passes because he was a music producer and he had connections._

_"Yeah. Lets go." Claire held Josh's gaze, then grabbed Cam's hand and they went into the theatre. Josh stood there for a minute, looking kind of sad and then he shook him self out of it._

_"Ok. Lets go." Josh herded the rest of us into the foyer and we went and sat down in our seats._

_The opener came out and started playing some song, and I noticed Kristen was looking a little weird._

_"Hey Kris, are you ok? You look kind of green." I asked, concerned._

_"I'll be fine. Look, I think Coldplay is coming on now!" Kristen smiled. "I'll be fine. Just watch the concert, Mass. Don't worry about me."_

_Near the end of the concert, Kristen looked like she was going to throw up and ran outside. I raced after her and found her throwing up in the bathroom._

_"Kristen! What's wrong?" I rushed over to hold her hair back._

_"I think I got food poisoning from something I ate." Kristen managed to get out._

_Once Kristen had gotten most of the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl, we went back into the lobby of the theatre. We saw that Josh, Derrick, Dylan, and Chris were waiting in the lobby for us._

_"Kristen, are you okay?" Dylan trilled with concern._

_"I'll be okay. I just need to go back to the apartment. You guys should stay though." Kristen whimpered._

_"We'll go with you. Its no problem." Chris put a hand on Kristen's shoulder._

_"Yeah. Dylan and I will come with you guys to your apartment and hang out with you for a while. It's only 8:30 after all." Derrick said. "And I'm pretty sure that Cam and Claire are staying to catch the rest of the concert, then doing something after it."_

_"I feel bad about messing up Josh's birthday though." Kristen pouted. She turned to Josh. "How about you and Mass go do something fun around the city then come hang out with us at the apartment?"_

_"That sounds ok to me, but are you sure your fine Kristen?" Josh asked her._

_"Yeah, Kris its fine for us to come with you now instead of later." I told her._

_"No. Seriously, I will feel so bad if I make Josh have a bad birthday. Just come hang out with us later!" Kristen clutched her stomach. "Um, we better call a cab."_

_Josh and I said goodbye to our friends then left Madison Square Gardens. The night had settled over the city, and there was a tangible excitement in the air. We decided to leave the concert since we probably couldn't get back in and there were only 15 minutes left, give or take._

_We went to the edge of town and sat on a dock overlooking the Hudson. In the dim glow of the streetlights, I could see the dark water below glimmering. Josh scooted close to me so his jean-clad leg was touching my bare leg. I wished for about the thousandth time that night that I had worn something warmer than my cute, but revealing Jill Stuart mini dress._

_Josh put his arm around me and I leaned back into his warm chest. It was nice just staring out at the water, and the lights across the way._

_"Hey Joshie?" I was the only one allowed to call him that. "Did you have a good birthday?"_

_"Yeah, I did." Josh smiled down at me. "Thanks. For everything."_

_"Stop, your making me blush." I joked. "Do you have any birthday wishes?"_

_"If I tell you they won't come true!" Josh exclaimed. He gazed down at me, his big brown eyes locking on my amber ones. "Isn't it weird to think we met only a year ago?"_

_"It is." I said, thinking back to freshman year when we met. He was my lab partner in Bio, and we ended up becoming best friends. "I'm so glad we are done being freshman. And we're done with Bio!"_

_"Yeah." He agreed. "But I'm glad I met you Massie Block."_

--

Flashback over

I wished that we could go back to then. How (relatively) uncomplicated it was. Just the two of us, sitting above the dark water. Before Josh changed.


	3. Everything is Different

I was standing outside of the OCDHS chapel, waiting for the doors to open. On the second day of school, we had a big beginning of the school year ceremony. I looked around for Kristen or Chris or any of my other friends as I stood there, surrounded by freshmen.

"Hey Mass." Josh's voice appeared behind me and sent shivers down my spine. I hadn't talked to him in over a month, and I had been looking forward to this moment (and dreading it too). I saw he got a haircut. He looked good. Annoyingly so. "How was Italy? And the rest of your summer?"

"It was amazing!" I whirled around to face him and take in his chocolate brown eyes, bright white smile, and… STOP. I concentrated on the space between his eyes. "So you must have had a pretty good summer…" There was no way to take the edge out of my voice.

"Yep. I guess you heard." Josh's face fell. I cringed inwardly. I hated fighting with him or whatever we where doing.

"Yeah. Oh look, the chapel's open!" I rushed into the chapel and slid into an empty seat in the 11th grader section. Josh hurried to sit next to me.

"Come on Massie. Why are you acting like this? I wasn't a big deal! And she kissed me." Josh pleaded with me, putting on his puppy dogface. All of a sudden, I went from disappointed to vaguely angry. Was he really going to ignore me half of the summer and then try and act like everything is the same?

"I'm not sure what you're talking about." I put on my best ice queen face and turned to the front. Years of going with my mother to boring society parties and learning to act fake had finally paid off!

"Fine. You, me. Lunch. Today. Can we please talk?" Josh begged. This whole begging thing was getting old, and fast.

"I had plans with Kristen." I said coldly.

"She'll get it. I haven't seen you in a month!" Josh exclaimed. He smiled at me. "We can go to Betsy's Burgers!"

That really wasn't fair of him. Bringing out the big guns. He knew how much I loved Betsy's Burgers. It's this really sweet family run burger joint, but they make the best burgers in town. And the décor of the place is super cute. We would always get takeout from Betsy's before we went to our bench. I would always get my cheeseburger with ketchup and a mint chip shake. Josh would get an everything burger with a vanilla shake.

"Fine. But you're paying." I waved Kristen over and she came and plopped down next to me, with Alicia Rivera in tow.

"We just came from Chemistry." Kristen explained. Since the school year started, the two of us had sadly been forced into spending more time with the Blockhead Bunch. They weren't as bad as they used to be, but they still had their ditzy moments. "So is everything right in the universe again?"

"Yep!" Josh said with a grin as he signaled to Derrick Harrington, who came and sat down on Josh's other side.

"Sup guys." Derrick greeted us. "What's new?"

"Oh! I forgot to tell you guys! I'm having a party on Friday!" Alicia squealed. "You guys have to come. It's going to be ahmazing!"

I looked at Kristen. Alicia's parties had a reputation for getting kind of wild, and the two of us usually weren't into that scene. But we had been hanging out with them more often lately, and it could be a fun time.

"We'll be there." I assured Alicia. I caught Kristen's eye and she nodded.

"I'm going too!" Josh smiled. "It sounds like its gonna be fun."

"Yeah. Count me in." Derrick agreed.

"Yay!" Alicia clapped her hands. "Oh by the way, it has a jungle theme. So have to dress up." She laughed.

While I considered some possible outfit choices, I realized that Josh was staring at me. He was looking at me like I was some kind of puzzle he couldn't quite figure out, but he wanted to. I knew that look really well; because it was the look I gave him all the time.

--

I was sitting in an old fashioned booth at Betsy's waiting for Josh to come back with our food. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Kristen.

**Massie: Sorry 4 bailing on lunch 2day. Will make it up 2 u l8r. Lets get ready b4 Alicias prty together and I cn give you deets. **

**Kristen: Its fine. We need to get costumed btw. Have fun!**

I shut my phone and tucked it away in the pocket of my Botkier satchel and forced a smile on my face as Josh came up to the table with the food.

"A cheeseburger and a shake for the lady." Josh handed me my food and sat down. " So what's new in the scandalous life of Massie Block?"

"Haha. Funny joke." I laughed as I grabbed a fry and dipped it in ketchup. "It seems you're the one with the scandalous life lately."

"Stop. Your embarrassing me." Josh said, a slight blush rising in his tan cheeks. "Are you really mad?"

"I'm not mad about the actions per se, more about what you did after." I sighed. It wasn't very nice to launch into this discussion directly upon sitting down for lunch.

"See, that's where you lose me. I don't know what I did after." Josh was perplexed. He stared at his burger. At that moment I really wanted to hug him. But I ignored the feeling and continued talking.

"So you don't think it's a problem that you didn't call or text me when I got back from Italy? And that I had to find out from some creepy internet stalker about you and Claire?" I kind of felt like crying. I wasn't usually a person who got very emotional, but this was getting me kind of riled up.

"I was just really busy. I didn't know it was that big of a deal. I wasn't sure when you were getting back, and I has a lot of stuff going on." Josh explained.

"Yeah. Well, it felt like you were blowing me off." I concentrated on looking anywhere but at Josh.

"Massie I would never blow you off." Josh told me and scooted over to give me a big bear hug. I was stiff at first but then I finally settled into his arms.

"Okay. You aren't totally forgiven. Consider yourself on probation." I semi-joked.

"Aye-aye, captain! Whatever you say goes!" Josh sharply saluted me, and I dissolved into a fit of giggled.

"Oh crap. Do you know what time it is?" I asked him. He thrust his wrist out to me and I made out the little numbers. 1:23. "We have seven minutes to get back to school. We have to go!"

--

That night I was walking my dog Bean around the park near my neighborhood, and thinking about the day's events. Whenever I had something on my mind, I would walk Bean over to this park. Not many people come here, but its really pretty. There are trees everywhere and a duck pond. The playground is a little out of date and starting to rust, which makes it less than desirable to the next generation of Westchester elite, but it suits me just fine.

I was still feeling muddled about the whole Josh situation. I felt great when I was around him, and he always gave me that warm fuzzy feeling. But it made me feel sick inside to think about him flirting with girls like Claire.

I couldn't figure out how I was feeling. I was pretty sure that I liked him. The butterflies I got in my stomach whenever he touched me where a fair testament to that. But he was also best friend, and he was pining/lusting over/in love with Claire Harrington. I hadn't even told Kristen. And I tell Kristen everything. But I was worried if I said it out loud it would make everything too real and scary or it would jinx it.

I was still kind of mad that Josh hadn't really addressed the whole Claire issue. He just sort of skimmed over it. I wanted him to tell me how he was feeling. But I didn't want him to tell me because I wanted him to.

I was interrupted from train of thought by the sound of footsteps crunching leaves and a dog sniffing. I turned around to see the smiling face of Derrick Harrington.

"Hey Massie. What's up?" Derrick asked amiably.

"Just walking Bean." I crouched down to pet his Husky. "What's your dog's name?"

"Her name is Kaya. It means 'Don't go back' in Eskimo. I know its kind of random, but my dad wanted to get in touch with the culture." Derrick explained.

"Kaya. I like it. Its really pretty!" I smiled. "So do you come here often?"

"Often enough. When my sister has her friends over I find its easier to be out of the house, and sometimes I like to just come here and hang out with Kaya. I find that coming here really clears my head." Derrick confided in me as he ran his fingers through his signature dirty blonde hair.

"Kind of the same with me. I come here when I have thinking to do. Or when I just need to get away from it all. Funny I've never seen you here before." I observed.

"There's just something comforting about this place. I remember coming here as a kid and feeding the birds, and going on the swings." Derrick gazed at the pond, deep in thought. "Good times."

"I moved here from Connecticut in ninth grade, and that's when I discovered this place. I was walking Bean one night, and I took the wrong turn and ended up here. I've been coming ever since." I told him.

We both stood there looking at the sun setting on the little duck pond. Our neighborhood and the surrounding area was full of random little parks and groves like this one. I was thinking how my two special places were here and at the bench in the clearing. I would usually come here on my walks with Bean, and I used to go to the bench with Josh. I only went to the bench by myself a few times this summer, but it wasn't the same without Josh. With no Josh, there was no magic.

Suddenly, I found myself missing Josh. Which was weird, considering I had seen him a few hours earlier. I missed his eyes, his jokes, the way his hair looked in the morning, the awesome songs we would sing together on the radio, and every other part about him.

"Massie? Are you ok?" Derrick gently asked me.

"Yeah. I'm great." I looked at Derrick. He was such a sweet guy. I felt bad he had such an evil demon for a sister. That must be really hard on him. "So are you going to Alicia's party?"

"Yep. It will probably be fun. You're going, right?" Derrick asked me. He really was pretty cute once you looked at him. I guess I had been so busy thinking about Josh, I had forgotten to look around me. But with Josh, its hard to remember anything else exists.

"I'll be there." I assured him with a grin. "Look, I've got to get going because my mom expected me home twenty minutes ago. But I'll see you Friday, right?"

"Definitely." Derrick waved goodbye and he and Kaya set off in the opposite direction.


	4. Secrets of the Jungle

"Kristen. How long can it take you to do your hair?" I shouted into the doorway of my bathroom. Kristen and I were getting ready for Alicia's party, and Kristen was taking FOREVER with her hair. "You know it a Jungle theme, so you don't have to look perfect." I pointed out.

I picked up the invitation off my dresser. It read "Welcome to the Jungle" in bold green letters. The rest of the space on the card was filled with details about the party and directions to Alicia's house. I didn't need the directions because Alicia lived two streets away from me so Kristen and I were just walking there. Alicia told us we could sleep over at her house if we wanted so we were planning on staying the night there, but we still had the option of walking back to my house if we wanted to.

"Ok, I'm ready!" Kristen strode from the bathroom and started putting on her shoes. "Whoa! Massie, your outfit looks great!" She told me.

I was wearing a super short leopard print mini skirt that I found at a vintage shop in the city, with a black Ella Moss tank top and black Tory Burch flats. My hair was in long, loose waves down my back. I was going for the sophisticated Jungle Girl look and I thought I looked pretty darn good.

"Thanks, Kris! You look fantastic! I wish I had your leg muscles." I told her. She was wearing a leopard print mini dress that totally accentuated her defined calves. "We look kind of like twins."

We stood next to each other in the mirror, trying to see the resemblances. We both had our hair in loose waves, we both were wearing leopard print, and we both had on black flats. Other than that we looked pretty different. I looked a lot like Rachel Bilson, and Kristen looked more like Kate Bosworth.

"Sort of!" Kristen laughed. "Okay. Are we ready? It's already 9:30 and the party started a half hour ago. We should probably head out now."

"Sounds good to me." I grabbed my phone off my queen-sized bed and Kristen and I left my house.

The night air was crisp, but not too cold. Just the way it should be in early September. Once we rounded the corner and got to Alicia's street, we could hear a thumping bass, and cars pulling up. It was a good thing that the lots in our neighborhood are so huge.

We went inside, and were amazed at the transformation. The Rivera's Mediterranean style mansion had been changed into a jungle paradise. There were vines hanging from the chandeliers and banisters and fake trees everywhere.

Kristen and I stuck together through the crowd in the main foyer and pushed through so we could get into the living room. In the living room I spotted Olivia Ryan sitting on Jake Samuels lap. I knew Jake from Lit class and I gave him a small wave as Olivia hopped off his lap to greet Kristen and I.

"Hey guys! You look so cute!" Olivia slurred. She had obviously already had a little too much jungle juice, even though the party had just started. "Love the whole pseudo twin thing you have going on." She tripped on her words a bit but got her meaning out.

"You look great too Olivia!" I told her. She was wearing a zebra print tube top dress.

Olivia mumbled some kind of thanks and continued to talk but I tuned her out. I wasn't listening whatsoever because Josh had walked in with Derrick Harrington. My chest went tight and I felt light headed. Josh was coming towards me. A wave of nausea washed over me and I grabbed a water bottle out of one of the coolers and took a sip to calm my nerves.

"Hey. You guys look great." Cam Fisher joined our circle and started talking. Why was he here? Josh was still walking towards us. Ten yards. Seven. Five. Four Three. Two. One.

"Sup guys? Hey Fisher! Didn't know you were coming." Josh landed and did one of those fist bumps that boys do with Cam. "So how's everything going?"

"Fan-freaking-tastic." Olivia stumbled a little and Cam reached out to steady her.

"So do you guys want to do anything?" Derrick asked, a mischievous glint in his eye.

--

Fifteen minutes later the six of us, plus Jake Samuels and Dylan Marvil, were sitting in a circle up in Alicia's gigantic room. Each of us had a cup filled with vodka, and there was a backup bottle resting on Alicia's chair in case we ran out.

"Okay. I'm electing myself in charge, so I'm going to say the rules." Dylan paced around the circle and dimmed the lights a bit so we could barely see anything. "So one person says something that they've never done. Then everyone in the circle who has done it has to drink. So we just go around the circle doing it."

"Okay, lets play." I urged. "Who wants to start?"

"I will!" Olivia narrowed in on Jake. "I never kissed someone in this circle!"

"Way to break the ice." Derrick sneezed.

I looked at Jake and Derrick for a minute, and then took a teeny sip. Jake drank, and so did Derrick and Kristen. I kissed Jake during Spin the Bottle in 9th grade, and I kissed Derrick during Truth or Dare in 10th grade. I knew that Kristen kissed Derrick because she had to kiss him during Truth or Dare too. Truth or Dare is pretty lame, but I guess it counted for this. The only people that didn't drink were Cam, Josh, Dylan and Olivia.

"Cam, your next." Dylan told him.

"Um. I never went skinny dipping." Cam admitted.

Dylan and Olivia looked at each other and dissolved into a fit of giggled. Obviously some inside joke. They each took a long swig of their respective drinks. Derrick and Jake also drank.

"You guys seriously have never been skinny dipping?" Olivia asked incredulously. I shook my head.

"Moving on. Kristen, its your turn." Dylan ordered Kristen to begin.

"Hm. I'm not that good at coming up with this stuff. Whatever." Kristen babbled. She was obviously stalling while she thought of something. "Ok. I never had a boyfriend for more than six months."

"I never had a boyfriend, period!" Jake exclaimed.

"Ok, boyfriend or girlfriend." Kristen shrugged.

Cam and Olivia were the only ones who drank. The rest of us just sat there uncomfortably, and slightly drunk.

"Whoa. We've got some major commitment-phobes on our hands!" Olivia guffawed. "You guys need to learn how to settle down!"

_Knock, knock, knock._ The sound of pounding on the door drew all of our attention away from the circle. Dylan unlocked the door, and threw it open, revealing Claire, Kemp, Alicia, and Chris.

"You guys are having your own mini party without me? I'm hurt!" Chris Plovert plopped down between Jake Samuels and me. Alicia followed his example and sat between Dylan and Derrick.

"So what are you guys doing?" Claire stood near the door and surveyed the room. Kemp was standing behind her and kind of sawing from side to side.

No one said anything. Kristen shot me a look from across the circle and directed her head at Claire's outfit. I raised my eyebrows at Kristen to convey shock that Claire had shown up in it. She was wearing a sheer leopard print chemise over black short shorts with spike heels.

"She looks like a 'Lady of the Night!'" I mouthed to Kristen. I put my hand over my mouth to disguise my laugh. Unfortunately, we were the only ones who found it comical.

Olivia was glaring at Claire with daggers in her eyes. Olivia hated Claire because Claire had stolen Kemp Hurley from Olivia. Kemp was Olivia's only real boyfriend and they had gone out for forever, but it was over when Claire set her sights on him. Cam and Josh were both staring at Claire with a mix of lust, anger, and remorse.

Kemp finally broke the awkward silence.

"Dude! I'm so fucking high!!" He yelled before toppling over.

Claire rolled her eyes and kicked him a little before realizing he was fast asleep.

"Anyone want to go down stairs and dance?" Derrick suggested. I breathed a sigh of relief. Anything to get out of that room.

"I'm in." I shot up with most of the group at my heels.

--

After what seemed like hours of dancing and consuming the suspiciously named "Jungle Juice," I decided to take a break and sit down.

I sat down on one of the "Tree Stumps," and surveyed the scene. Olivia was dancing with Jake Samuels, and Kristen was dancing with Chris Plovert. Grinding to be more accurate. I always thought they would be a cute couple. With his black square frame glasses and short but messy blonde hair, Chris was the epitome of hot hipster. He was perfect for Kristen. I smiled as Kristen turned around to kiss Chris. They looked really happy. I wished I were that happy.

I realized I had to go to the bathroom so I left my perch, and started toward the stairs. I went into Alicia's large bathroom and locked the door behind me. I was fixing my hair when I heard someone walk into Alicia's room and close the door. Then they started talking. I wasn't listening at first, but then I realized that I knew the two voices. It was Josh and Claire. Feeling one part guilty and two parts betrayed, I quietly crept to the bathroom door and pressed my ears against it.

"Its just weird. Because I like two girls who I'm friends with." Josh was saying. I couldn't help but wonder who he was talking about. I knew it was Claire, but who else? "And I have one friend who is really pretty and I'm really close with, but we aren't really flirty. And I don't want to mess up the friendship. My other friend is gorgeous and super flirty, but she is dating one of my really good friends. And I really like you, but I couldn't do that to Kemp."

"I don't know who the other girl is, but I think you should go for her." Claire sighed.

"I'm just really confused about things right now." Josh muttered.

"Who is the other girl?" Claire asked. "I think you should go for her…"

"Its Massie." Josh said. I stifled a gasp. Everything started spinning. I realized Josh was still talking so I pressed my ear up against the door. "But I don't want to ruin the friendship. I don't think I'm going to do anything. It's not worth messing up the friendship."

I waited until they left before opening the door. I carefully crept out of Alicia's room and headed towards the stairs. I wanted to get home. But that wasn't an option since I had promised I would stay with Kristen, and she was off with Plovert. For the present moment I was going to have to settle for some Jungle Juice. I was pouring myself some of the pinkish liquid when Derrick Harrington came up next to me, cup in hand.

"Pretty girls shouldn't drink alone. Fancy some company?" Derrick flashed his signature grin at me.

"Actually, I feel like dancing." I downed my Jungle Juice and led him to the dance floor. A remix of some Kanye West song was thumping through the speakers. I grabbed his hips and aligned them with mine. We started grinding to the music.

I started getting really hot. Someone was stepping on my feet but I didn't care. I had long discarded my shoes. I was focused on getting out all of my pent out frustration and anger and whatever else was inside of me by dancing with Derrick. I wasn't going to think about Josh. Or the things he said. The things that just changed everything even more. Then everything started getting kind of blurry…

--

"Massie! Are you okay?" Kristen's worried face appeared over mine. I saw two dark blobs behind her, but I couldn't make out any more than that.

"Whasgoinon?" I slurred. My head was pounding. Where was I? It looked like I was still at Alicia's but it was a lot later than I remembered.

"Honey, you blacked out!" Kristen explained. Did I? "You were making out with Derrick on the stairs-"

"I was?" I interuppted. "Oh I vaguely remember. Sort of, kind of."

"-And then you fainted." Kristen finished.

"Huh?" I was so confused. What was she saying? "What time is it?"

"Its three thirty in the morning!" Kristen told me. "You don't remember any of this? Oh my god. I am never letting you drink again."

"Ugh… Okay. I feel a little better." I attempted to sit up. Bad idea. I went down again. I could now see that Josh and Derrick were behind Kristen.

"Do you want some water?" Derrick looked concerned. How were they not more drunk? They drank the Jungle Juice too! I saw Alicia stumbling around in the background.

"Wha? Oh, yeah thanks." I smiled gratefully up at him.

"Lets try and get you sitting up." Josh leaned over to help me. He pulled me up, ignoring the death glare I was sending at him. The only part I could remember about the party was Josh saying that I was second best to Claire. That stung. I would rather not be in the competition at all than be compared to her.

"Massie, I think we should head home." Kristen said. "I want to get some sleep anyways."

"Mmmm…" I closed my eyes and thought about how warm the room was.

"Mass! Stay with me! We're going back to your house, okay?" Kristen gently shook me. "Do you have a key? And are your parents home?"

"Doormat. In city overnight." I managed to get out. "Am I sitting on a counter?"

"Yes. Your in the kitchen." Derrick came back with the water.

"Thanks." I downed the water.

"Good. You need water in your system." Kristen said. "Now it's time to go!"

"Lets go!" Josh lifted me off the counter held me in his arms. I shot him a funny look. Where did he think he was going with me?

"What are you doing?" I turned my head a little bit to face Josh.

"What kind of guy would I be if I let the two of you walk home alone at three thirty in the morning?" Josh said with a grin.

"A normal one." I grumbled. It was his fault we were in this situation to start with. If he hadn't said all those weird things to Claire I wouldn't have drank all the Jungle Juice to drown my sorrows, and then made out with Derrick.

"Can you walk?" Josh asked concernedly and a little amusedly. I usually never got drunk so I was betting that everyone was laughing at my misfortune.

"I can walk fine." I muttered. I tried to stand. I felt like I was I was on a trampoline for some reason.

"Steady." Kristen caught my elbow as I started to go down. "Do you guys think Alicia has a wheelbarrow or something?" She laughed. I guess she was kind of drunk too.

"Very funny." I tried to say sarcastically. It ended up sounding like "air bunny."

Josh solved our wheelbarrow dilemma by scooping my up and carrying me. We left the house, and had to step over various people passed out on the floor. We reached my street, and I started to feel very sleepy. The three of us had almost reached my house. All I wanted was to put on some comfy pajamas and go to bed.

"We're here." Kristen whispered. We went through my gate, and then up the drive way. I would have to remember to delete the security footage of us. When we reached the door, Kristen reached under the mat and grabbed the key. The door swung open. Josh carried me up the stairs and set me down on my bed.

As soon as I lied down on my bed I closed my eyes. It was such a comfortable bed. It must have looked like I was sleeping because Kristen and Josh both thought was. I didn't bother correcting them.

"She's out like a light." Josh remarked.

"So are you gonna head back to Alicia's or do you want to crash here?" Kristen asked him.

"Um. I told my parents I was sleeping over at Cam's. And I have no idea where he is now. So if it's ok, I might crash on the floor." Josh said.

"Yeah, Massie will be fine with it." Kristen assured him. "Ah. I'm beat. I'm gonna go to bed. She crawled in on the other side and they turned off the light.

I heard Josh settle on the floor next to me with a pillow and blanket. The sound of his heavy breathing almost put me to sleep immediately. As I drifted off, I realized I was going to have a massive hangover the next morning. I wasn't looking forward to that.


	5. I Wanted to Believe It Was All A Dream

A week after the party incident, I was studying for AP Biology at Kristen's house. It was a Saturday afternoon, and we were lounging on the beanbags in her room while quizzing each other on the feeding habits of a tree frog. The light was streaming in through her bay window, and I was itching to get outside, but I knew that we should probably study for a little while longer. I hated always being the one to suggest taking a break.

"Are you okay?" Kristen broke the sacred studying silence. I was puzzled.

"What do you mean, am I okay?" I asked her.

"You've seemed kind of on edge this past week." Kristen told me.

"Oh. I feel fine. I guess its because summers over." I lied. I prayed she would accept my answer.

"Ah. Same. I miss summer so much. School sucks." She agreed with me. I was victorious.

I felt horrible lying to her about why I was acting weird, but if I told her I was acting weird because I found out that Josh liked me, but he liked Claire a lot more than me and that I was second best to her, then everything else would come into question. Then she would find out that I had been in love with Josh since Christmas of 9th grade. And she was my best friend, but I couldn't risk her knowing. I couldn't risk anyone knowing. It was my secret to end all other secrets.

I put down my flashcards and flipped through my textbook. I was getting sick of studying. We had been at it since 10:00 a.m. and now it was 2:00 p.m. I was interrupted from my thoughts by the sound of footsteps outside, and a knock on Kristen's door.

"Come in!" Kristen yelled from her beanbag. Derrick, Chris, and Josh appeared at the door. My stomach twisted in knots at the sight of Josh. He made me so confused.

"Hey. Elsa let us in." Derrick explained as the walked in. Elsa was Kristen's maid. She knew all of us by name because we came to Kristen's house so often.

"That's cool. Massie and I can probably take a break now." Kristen gave in.

"Yes! So what should we do now?" I asked her. I purposely avoided looking in Josh's direction. Every time I looked at him, I felt like I was dropping off a huge cliff. "I'm sick of tree frogs."

"Do you guys want to go swimming? Its pretty hot out." Chris suggested.

"Sure. Elsa keeps the pool heated until October, so it will still be warm. Do you guys have swim suits?" Kristen asked them.

"I'm wearing mine." Josh pulled at the fabric of his red shorts. I clenched my hands into fists at the sound of his voice.

"I'm not." Derrick admitted. He looked a little worried. I watched him for a second, and then I realized we hadn't really talked since our drunken hook up at Alicia's party. Oops.

"Me neither." Chris offered.

"Its ok. We have extras in the pool house. You guys can go change down there. Massie and I will change in my room and meet you guys out by the pool." Kristen told them.

They headed downstairs and I went into Kristen's massive closet. I had my own walk-in closet, but Kristen's was three times the size of mine. I went over to the drawer that had all of her swimsuit and started rifling through it. I grabbed a solid yellow Rosa Cha string bikini. I quickly changed and went back into Kristen's room.

"Oh that's so cute!" I told Kristen when she came out of her bathroom wearing a navy and white striped bikini. We went down the stairs and out through her extensive gardens to get to the pool. The boys were already in the pool.

"Jump in on three." Kristen squealed. We raced to get to the deep end of the pool. We counted to three and then jumped in simultaneously.

"Hey! No splashing!" Chris swam over and splashed us. "Unless I'm the one who's doing the splashing!"

"That's not a fair rule." Kristen pretended to pout. "Can I help you change your mind?"

"Only if you kiss me." Chris grinned and Kristen wrapped her arms around him. Ever since he asked her out at the party the week before, they had been all over each other.

"Keep it PG! There are kids here!" Josh shouted. Kristen and Chris ignored him and kept kissing. The rest of us giggled and splashed them with water.

"Oh crap. I forgot to put on sunscreen!" I realized. "Kristen, where do you keep it?"

"Right hand drawer in the pool house bathroom." Kristen briefly surfaced for air to tell me where the sunscreen was.

I hopped out of the pool and walked into the pool house. I shivered a little, dripping chlorinated water on the tile floors. I opened the door into the bathroom and went in. I rummaged through the drawers, looking for waterproof sunscreen. I found some Shiseido sun protection lotion SPF 33.

"Can I have some?" Josh appeared at the door. Water droplets were glistening on his lean, tan six-pack. I forced myself to look away. The words he had said to Claire at the party where still ringing in my ears. Massie Block was many things, but second best wasn't one of them. I focused on the blue bottle in my hands.

"Here." I passed him the bottle. He squeezed out a little, and the white sunscreen squirted into his hands. He started rubbing it on his arms.

I attempted to rub the amount I had in my hands onto my back. It wasn't working very well. I could only reach my shoulder blades. I'm sure I looked crazy, straining to reach my back.

"Do you want some help with that?" Josh asked me with a grin.

"Yeah, sure." I gruffly replied. Josh squirted some more sunscreen into his hands. He rubbed it on my back, careful to avoid my hair. I breathed deeply, avoiding the urge to hit him, or kiss him.

Since I had heard how he felt about me and Claire, I couldn't stand to be around him But when he was gone, I felt a dull ache in my stomach. I couldn't be with him or without him.

"All done." Josh said with an air of finality.

"Thanks." I mumbled. I turned to leave the pool house when Josh grabbed my hand and pulled me back. I faced him. "What do you want?"

"Are we okay?" Josh had a perplexed expression on his face. "You seems really different lately. Like whenever we talk, we're not really talking. I feel like your mad at me or something."

"I dunno. Everything just seems kind of different lately." I told him. Josh's face fell. That was not the answer he was hoping for. He wanted me to open up to him and for everything to be alright again. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. I took a long look at his sad face and headed back out to the pool.

Once I was back in the warm sunshine, I settled into a comfy lounge chair near the pool.

"Are you coming back in?" Derrick swam near the edge of the pool and asked me.

"Yes. I just need to let the sunscreen soak in for a little while." I told him. "I'm weird about sun care."

"That's cool. Its better than getting burnt!" Derrick laughed. "I hate getting burnt."

Josh ran out of the pool house and cannon balled into the deep end, getting water droplets on all of us. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Massie, you have to come in now! The water feels so nice!" Kristen shouted from the opposite end of the pool where she was engaged in a splash fight with Josh and Chris.

"Fine. I think my sunscreen is dry now." I walked around the edge of the pool, and then gracefully dove in.

"Whoa. You have mad diving skills!" Plovert exclaimed in awe.

"Three years on the swim team. Worst days of my life. But now I'm a great diver." I told him with a grimace.

"Do you guys want to get out now?" Kristen asked. "I'm getting kind of waterlogged. We can watch a movie."

"Sounds good." Josh got out of the pool and grabbed a striped towel that was sitting on a lounge chair. The rest of us followed and started drying off.

Once we were sufficiently dried off, we headed into the main house. The Gregory's had a huge viewing room for watching movies, filled with huge plush red couches. The room had remote control curtains made of red velvet for the screen, which covered an entire wall, and there was a mini bar in the back.

Kristen turned on the screen, and we were greeted with hundreds of movie options. There were comedies, dramas, thrillers, romantic movies and everything else. Kristen clicked on Comedy and started scrolling through.

"Tell me if you guys see anything you like." Kristen kept pressing the button on the remote. "Ooh. What about Blades of Glory?"

"Seen it." Chorused Derrick, Josh and Chris. Derrick piped up. "Any other options?"

"How about… um…" Kristen continued to look. "Superbad?"

"Yeah! Lets watch that!" Chris shouted. I decided not to mention that I had seen it before. It was pretty funny and I'd rather not complicate things.

"Okay. I'm gonna make some popcorn." I got up from my extremely comfortable perch on the couch and made my way to the back of the room where the snack and the microwave where.

I ignored the light chatter emanating from my friends, as I put the bag of popcorn into the state of the art microwave. I open the cabinet that held all of the other movie snacks and pulled out the essentials; Swedish fish and Rollos. No movie is complete without Swedish Fish and Rollos. I'm not the biggest popcorn fan, but I adore the aforementioned Swedish Fish and Rollo combination. But not eaten together.

"I'm stocking up on the Rollos and Swedish Fish, but do you guys want anything else besides that and popcorn?" I hollered from the back of the room.

"Get some Sour Patch Kids, and some sodas." Derrick shouted back to me. "Please!"

"Alright, fatties…" I joked. Once the popcorn was ready, I attempted to bring everything over at the same time. I ended up dropping the Sour Patch Kids on my journey. "Can someone grab those? I'm kind of overloaded."

Josh reached over the couch and grabbed the bag of candy. I gave him my best fake but looks sincere "Thank You" smile. Kristen started the movie and I put all of the snacks on the floor in front of us. I parked myself on the couch, in between Derrick and Josh. Not the ideal position, but it was the only spot available.

I was squished right between Josh and Derrick. I could feel the heat from Josh's leg as he pressed it against mine. I stared at it, willing him to move it. He didn't get the hint. Didn't he realize he was torturing me? I distracted myself by grabbing a couple Swedish Fish.

"So what's the Swedish Fish?" Derrick asked, with complete disregard for the movie that was playing. It was okay, because I always talk during movies.

"Massie has never let us watch movies without Swedish Fish and Rollos since I can remember. And whenever she doesn't get them, she pouts!" Kristen explained to Derrick.

"They are the official movie snack in her world." Josh added. When he spoke up, I refocused on the movie.

The conversation dwindled, and everyone's attention was returned to the movie. Well almost everyone's. I really wanted Josh to put a shirt on. It was so hard to get over him and not think about him when his perfectly defined abs were on display. It was not fair. I knew I should have picked an ugly best friend. Then I wouldn't have fallen in love with him and gotten my heart broken. Well, that makes me sound shallow. I didn't just fall in love with Josh because of his looks, even though he is the best-looking guy I know. I liked him because of who he is.

I decided to remedy the situation by closing my eyes and counting as far as I could. I don't know what I was looking to accomplish, but the movie was just talking about sex. And that was getting uncomfortable. So I tried closing my eyes and counting. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And so on. I got into a comfortable groove and all the sounds of the perverted jokes from the movie and the sounds of everyone talking were wiped out. Then, there was complete darkness…

--

"Massie…" I jerked awake to see Kristen's face looming over mine. "Wake up sleepy head!"

"I'm up!" I sat up. "Is it just me, or are you waking me up more than usual?"

"I think I am! I'm turning into your mother!" Kristen pretended to be horrified.

"So I fell asleep during the movie?" I asked her.

"Very astute." Kristen pretended to applaud me.

" I see your utilizing your SAT vocab. Aren't you cool." I stuck my tongue out at her. A gesture she returned to me. "Did everyone leave?"

"A couple minutes ago." Kristen informed me. "Its five now."

"Oh. My real mom will probably want me home." I laughed. "Sorry, almost mother."

"Haha. So do you have to get home right now? Or can you hang out for a few minutes? There's kind of something I have to talk to you about." Kristen said rather nervously.

"My mom probably wont care if I'm a few minutes late." I told Kristen. I was intrigued. I wanted to know what was making her act so weird all of a sudden.

"Okay. Here goes." Kristen breathed in deeply. "Do you want to sit down?"

"Um. Sure." I stared at her. She didn't usually act like this. It was starting to freak me out.

"So my dad got offered this new job…" Kristen trailed off. I stared at her expectantly. She went on, "And he's taking it."

"That's great!" I grinned. I wasn't sure why she was telling me. "Anything else?"

"Its in L.A." Kristen lowered her head and stared at the floor. I was dumbfounded.

"L.A. As in Los Angeles? As in California? As in across the country?" I was practically hyperventilating. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I know. I waited this long to tell you because I was trying to figure out a way for me to stay here. But there isn't a way. My parents are making me move." Kristen's emerald green eyes welled up with tears.

"But, but… They can't do this to you! It's not fair! Your whole life is here! The school year has already started!" I argued passionately. I felt my eyes prickling, a sign that tears where coming. Kristen was my best friend in Westchester, and imagining life there without her was like imagining salsa dip without chips. They're amazing together, but nothing alone.

"I know. It's horrible. They're going to send me to some private school in Beverly Hills." Kristen murmured.

"When do you leave?" I croaked. The reality of all of it was starting to get to me. I was starting to picture myself living in Westchester without Kristen. It was not a fun idea.

"Two weeks." Kristen sighed. "I know its really soon."

"What about Plovert?" I asked her. "He really likes you."

"I haven't told him yet, obviously. I'm going to tell him soon." Kristen said. "This whole thing just sucks."

"I could think of a bunch of more colorful ways to say that." I groused. "Seriously, Kristen. You can't leave me. What am I going to do without you? Westchester will be HELL."

"I don't want to go to L.A. either." Kristen exclaimed. "I don't want any part in this! I told them to let me live here with you, but they wouldn't let me!"

"Shit." I looked up and tried to stop the flow of tears. I've never been a big crier. I cry on occasion, mostly when I get really hurt. I usually don't cry for emotional reasons. "Look, I gotta run."

"Yeah. Can we talk more tomorrow?" Kristen wiped at her nose. Her eyes were quickly turning red and puffy.

"Sure." I grabbed my stuff and started to go. Right before I was out the door I turned. "Kristen, I'm really sorry about all this."

I walked out to my car and slid on my Oliver Peoples aviators. I didn't start driving I just sat there for a minute, thinking. My best friend was moving, and my other best friend didn't know I was in love with him but kind of liked me for a while before deciding the evilest girl in our grade was much better than me.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized. My life sucked.


End file.
